Alot to say...

Well it has been a long time since i posted a blog. So much has changed. So this blog today will be more than just weight loss. It will be about everything and anything that is on my mind. First off i am down 14 lbs total! I am now at 218. I haven't taken measurements in a while so i am not sure about that. It has not been hard at all to do the right thing. It is a life change that you have to be willing to accept and this is something i must do to be around for many many years. Once you accept the challenge then with just a little support from family or friends then you could succeed. Ok enough about weight loss because there is so much more on my mind. I am so sick and tired of fake people that claim to be a friend but you just cant shake that feeling they are not. I have a "friend" that is going through a rough time and granted she chose to be in that situation but i still feel bad for her and tried to help. Guess where that got me her angry and me without a friend that i was beginning to like having around. She told me that she will come to me when she is ready to talk about things but i know that is bull crap because she has already went to her "best Friend" and talked about everything. I honestly feel that i was a great person to hang around when our kids were in the same class, she needed Internet for her laptop, and when she wanted to get away from her husband. Every since she walked away from her husband and their life together i have been like the plague to her. She says that she is finally able to be herself for the first time in a long time. Well that's fine and honestly i don't like the way she is. If this is how she truly treats people and acts then her best friend can have her because she claims to not need drama...Well she Oozes Drama!! I am tired of being kicked, used, set aside, and ignored! I am worth a heck of alot more than that. I have a few people that i can truly say are a Good Friend. They realize my worth and what they have with me. I am the type of person that if you are going through a hard time i will be there to listen. If you need to vent, cry, yell, laugh, etc.. I would be willing to share it all with you. I ask how you are, what your doing, why you did this or that, and i will ask about the people you hang out with. I don't do it to be nosy i just do it because i was raised to be involved in the lives about those you care about. So it is hard for me to understand that someone who once told me about her leaving her husband and the reasons why would all of a sudden when she does it decides that she doesn't want to talk about her new boyfriend and the life that she is creating. I realized that recently i have become something i hate and that is 2-faced. I act like nothing is wrong when i am around her even though inside i am furious with her. So i have come to the conclusion that i must face the fact that i cant go on this way anymore. She is someone that i don't need in my life because she takes people for granted and doesn't appreciate them. For the longest time i wondered if my husband had it right all along. I have wondered if the way he lives his life is the right way or not. I have come to realize that neither way is right or wrong. Some people though don't deserve the same compassion, respect, and energy that others in your life do.
Then i have another friend that is very critical of others. She bugs me when she acts that way because she is not perfect in any means. No one is perfect. She will claim that she isn't perfect but then get annoyed when others do the same as she has done. She is also one that i feel ignored by because even though she says she wants to get together and do something she doesn't make it easy to accomplish. She only gives a certain day and then gets upset when others cant make it on that day. I feel that if she really wants to get together she could find more than one day that she could hang out and if not then don't get upset when others have plans. So just like with the other person that i mentioned above she will get the same treatment that she bestows upon me. Nothing more nothing less. Maybe if people start treating them the way they are treating others it might trigger something.
Ok now.. something that i haven't wanted to talk about because in a way i was hoping it would just work out and go away. Well i need to get stuff off my chest about it. I am scared that my husband will lose his job if the automakers don't get some sort of relief. Whether a loan, bailout, etc.. We made so many concessions with the last contract that to ask them workers to cut their pay would be a huge slap in the face. What people don't realize is that if they did the drastic cut in pay that they want you are going to see a surge in foreclosures, repossions, and dramatic cut in retail sales. Alot of people have made the comment well stop living above your means and things like that. Here is a newsflash.. At least my family because i cant speak for other families...We don't live above our means. We have an average 3 bed. ranch home. We have 2 vehicles but they are 7 and 5 yrs old. If i could have sold my house last year when things weren't looking good then trust me i would have put it on the market and found something less expensive. The thing is houses are not selling, cars are not selling, and that is supposed to be our fault?? It is supposed to be the fault of the worker that we are not wanting to take a pay cut and lose everything that we already worked so hard for. In a society where your credit score is like your status in life it would be hard to get anyone to agree to screw up their credit and lose everything. I don't buy things that are name brand because i want that status symbol.. Our clothes are not from major department stores (unless there is a HUGE sale), our food is from the local supermarkets, and yes i have cable, Internet, etc.. but i don't go overboard. I cant seem to save money because anytime i do a kid gets sick, something breaks, or just life throws a curve ball. I agree with so many people.. management screwed up but is that a reason to screw up the lives of over 2 million autoworkers that had no say in how the shops were run?? Because trust me if you ask the workers that have been there for more than 5 yrs they would tell you how they would have ran those companies and i can guarantee they would have flourished! This is not something that happened over night this has been happening for a few years and the people that are running the company made the best decisions that they could make. All i know is that i am trying to not let it run my life but it is hard to not think about it all the time. I think about it every time i make a purchase anymore. I wonder if we really need the items that i am about to buy because i am afraid to stretch us to thin. I am so thankful for the upcoming holiday season because that is helping to keep my mind off the things that i can not change. I will give my kids a Christmas they deserve because they earned it. I will not let what is going on change the things i will buy for them because they earned the ability to see presents under the tree that they asked Santa for. Some might be a little more pricey then i want to pay but my husband and i will make the sacrifice to not get each other something and be proud to do it. We are not the important ones.. they are.. we had our Christmases and now it is time for them to have theirs. Forget about the bailout, the economy, the people that don't care, the society in which we live. Forget about it all.. the only thing that matters is family and those that care about you. This is Christmas.. Jesus' birthday.. we should be happy, joyful, and full of love. So here i am letting it all go.. i am not going to dwell on anything that doesn't make me smile. There is no point. I am going to fight to be able to be the person i want to be. All i can hope that my true friends and family members will be there standing by my side instead of standing in my way! I don't want to hurt anyone i really don't but i can not let others dictate who i am, what i believe, or what i do.